For the longest time in my life I disliked going to funerals. I know a few of you (if not all) reading this post would share my sentiment. It was not because I had to face a personal loss; it was simply a not-so-good feeling. So for some who want to escape the whole trauma of experiencing the grief, the easiest way out is not attending the funeral. But, we cannot run from this forever. All of us at some point in our lives will have to face the loss of someone dear to us.
Dealing with such a loss is not easy. I remember joining college for the 1st year after the summer vacations. I was informed one of my close friends had passed away in a train accident, I was devastated. I could not sleep for days. I kept fighting with God asking him how He could have allowed something like this. It took me a while to get over the loss.
So how do we deal with it if we are met with a situation as such? A loved one, a friend, a church member, an acquaintance; loss is no stranger. Here are a few things that I have learned along the way having lost and stood by people who have experienced the same.
- Be Real about the Loss: Quite often, I will find that one family member who will suppress their real feelings and put up a brave face. It is almost as though they want to hide their pain from everyone watching. It is to this family member that I want to say, “It is okay to cry. It is okay to feel loss. It is okay to feel pain.” In trying to put up a front that is not real, the pain that has not been dealt with will become a hurdle/ stronghold in your life.
- Acknowledge that God is Sovereign over the Situation: In the midst of it all, remember that God is aware of everything. (Click to Tweet) When God speaks about knowing us even before we were formed in our mother’s womb, He is not only aware of our birth but also about when our time on earth would come to an end. After all, we are all pilgrims journeying through life to the ever after.
- Release the Person in your Emotions: We are connected with each other through our emotions. And because God has created us as beings with emotions, we experience the pain as well. Along with the person, go all aspirations and dreams of the future associated with the person and there are a lot of unmet expectations. People carry the weight of these unmet expectations for life. Job dealt with his emotions saying, “God gave and He took away”. This would also include forgiving the person who is no more for things that might have happened in the past.
- Let God bring Healing: – Going through the experience of loss is taxing emotionally as well as physically. We need healing when we hurt. I recently heard a beautiful sermon at a funeral out of Psalms 116:15, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints”. Even though it’s painful for us because of separation from our loved ones, God calls it precious as it is homecoming for them who have lived life according to the Word of God on this earth. Also, seek counsel from godly men and women; people who would stand with you and encourage you with the word of God.
- Be Mindful of the Eternal Hope we have in Christ. We who have received Jesus as Lord and Saviour have this hope that the end of life as we know it is not the end after all. We have faith to believe that the dead in Christ will rise in the day of the Lord. 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 tells us this, “For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord”
And finally, for those who do not have this hope yet, there is an opportunity set forth before you today to experience His love and assurance. The Bible says in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” This hope can be yours when you surrender your heart to Him and acknowledge Him as the Lord and Saviour of your life.
Pray with me: Dear Father, I thank you for your love. Thank you for your Son Jesus. Thank You for His death on the cross for my sin. I acknowledge that I need you and your love in my life. Jesus, come into my heart. Be the Lord and Saviour of my life. In Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN.
I hope this post blesses you. If you would like to share some more points that could help someone else dealing with loss, please do in the comment section below. God bless.