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Like any other night, I sat down on my bed by the window to pray. I love reading my Bible. Every single time I turn the pages of this beautiful book, my heart quickens in anticipation to see what He will reveal to me today. After I had done that, I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes to pray.

Suddenly, my eyes opened to find myself in a really crowded room with some people regretting, some rejoicing and some just silently contemplative. I could not understand how I got to be there. I was at my home till a few minutes ago. Nothing seemed to make sense. At the back of my head, there came a nagging thought, ‘I must have died in my sleep. I should have known that blocked nose would get the better of me.’ I felt so undone; there were so many things I had left to do; so many things that I wanted to say.

The crowd was moving in a particular direction and I followed suit. Right at the end of the room, I saw a heavily bearded man having conversations with one person at a time before they went one of two ways, as if to be segregated. I thought maybe, just maybe, that could be Peter. I still haven’t understood why it is Peter who is always standing at the Pearly Gates? Anyway, he seemed to be in conversation with a lady when I was drawing closer to the end of that line and I looked at her face. She looked so pained and then with her head hung low, she walked away.

Finally, it was my turn and I stood there wondering if I should speak first. Should I say something funny to break the ice? Well, the ice melted away, the minute he asked me, “Where do you think you deserve to go?” I wanted to say heaven with clear confidence but I was not so sure if that was where I would go. Had I lived my life right? Not in the past so long ago but right now, up until the moment my last breath had escaped my lips, did I live right?

And then, a thought entered my mind. I suddenly felt faint. I thought I was going to die a million deaths (even that is not possible once you have died already). I realised, today if I go to hell would mean I would never get to look at the face of my Heavenly Father. I would never ever again hear His voice calling my name. I would never ever EVER feel His love for me ever again. All I would have is faded memories of a love that I once had and let go.


I could not help but cry and cry bitterly. I could not imagine such loss. I wake all of a sudden and realise that it was a dream but the tears that trickled down my face were real and the potentiality of being separated from my Father in heaven was real. I cannot say that I have never made a mistake ever since or fallen short but I am learning to live a life, holy and acceptable to Him.

There is an invitation that is open to anyone who believes that Heaven is as real as is hell. He made a way to spend eternity with Him.

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.